Another Bumbastories Monday Magazine: December 29, 2014

Note from the Editor:

In response to popular request and a wave of vociferous public outrage, this will be the last Bumbastories Monday Magazine of the year 2014. No more Bumbastories Monday Magazines will be available – at least until next year.

(Thank goodness, says I. Too bad the year ends tomorrow)

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This week’s magazine features a song by Duke Ellington, a book review, an end-of-the-year-sort-of news update, a brief report from roving reporter George Packard, a very personal and heartfelt dissertation about ice cream, and then some more music.

Here’s a snappy version of Mood Indigo.

(Huh? How can Mood Indigo be snappy? How can Mood Indigo not be bluer than blue?)

https://soundcloud.com/songplayer/mood-indigo

Mood Indigo is a Duke Ellington standard of course. Written together with Barney Bigard and Irving Mills in 1930, it was played almost nightly, I believe, by Ellington and his orchestra for over forty years. Ellington’s band worked fifty weeks a year. They had two weeks off for vacation. It was a steady gig during hard times. Ellington kept the band going at times by using the money earned from his royalties. When asked how he managed to keep so many of the same musicians, many of them all-time greats of jazz, for so many years, Ellington answered that he had a secret. “I pay them,” he said.

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A BOOK REVIEW: LANGUAGE AND SPECIES by Derek Bickerton

51WGZEFMG4L._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_As noted in a previous blog, I chanced upon this fine book quite by chance, and have since wet my feet a bit in the icy and forbidding waters of Linguistics. I am aware that most bloggers (and that probably includes you) have less than minimal interest in linguistics. All the same, if you’d like to learn about the key subject in human psychology, or if you’re curious about the evolution of humans and human civilization, then language is something crucial to explore. Bickerton does just that. As I was saying he’s quite a guy. He goes straight for the interesting stuff. Linguistics can get very sticky and ticky-tack technical, but Bickerton’s logic and writing is excellent, and his approach always bold.

Drawing from his work exploring Creole and Pidgin languages, Bickerton speculates how language arose in our homo erectus hunter/scavenger ancesters. His logic is clear and incisive throughout, even though the terminology and lingo of linguistics is often a bit dense and hard to follow for the beginner.

Noam Chomsky, “father of modern linguistics, who recommends this book highly as well, asks in New Horizons in the study of language: “How do the genes determine the initial state (this innate language acquisition readiness), and what are the brain mechanisms involved?” Bickerson takes up this inquiry in Language and Species, steering us to consider a connection or link that was suddenly forged (in the brain somewhere) between homo erectus‘ capacity to communicate vocally and a “secondary representational system” which already included simple logic and syntax. Thus thought and language became intertwined.

It’s a knotty subject, it’s true.

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NEWS UPDATE 2014

It’s the end of 2014 and it seems everyone around town is still pessimistic and down in the mouth regarding the state of government today. And not just around town!  Pessimism and cynicism about the future of the planet is rampant. If you think about government globally, well, the majority of governments round the world are autocratic. Our beacons of light, the proud democracies of the world, are becoming increasingly oligarchic and corrupt, controlled by a dominant ruling class – that 1% of the 1% that seems to have the politicians in their pockets and the game sewn up. We see existential crises at every corner which need to be addressed by these already-corrupted and barely functioning governments. Confidence ratings for politicians reflect this pessimism. Unfortunately it’s more than ordinary corruption. Everyone I talk to is shaking his head and muttering. Perhaps it’s because they’re all listening to their iphones. Ah, but don’t lose face, bunkie. Dig in and fight ’em.

We’re starting a new year. Happy New Year!

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MUSIC SECTION

Two American folk songs to sing along with. Or if you like, with which to sing along. Take your pick.

There’s John Henry and Footprints in the Snow. Two great songs that each tells a wonderful story. I look at John Henry as a political song, an affirmation of the right to be your own man, resist the machine to your very last. Footprints, a “written” song of uncertain authorship, (Reportedly, Bill Monroe claimed to have written it by himself, but the real songwriter was apparently somebody else) tells a lovely love story. Lyrics below. The songs come from different American folk music traditions, if I may be didactic: the Black, and the Country/Bluegrass, which of course merge and interplay a lot, and today are represented in rock and roll. I think everybody of all traditions can sing and enjoy these songs, this “roots” music.

(Please sing along)

John Henry

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Footprints in the Snow

Now some folks like the summertime when the they can walk about
Strolling through the meadow green it’s pleasant there’s no doubt
But give me the wintertime when the snow is on the ground
For I found her when the snow on the ground

I traced her little footprints in the snow
I found her little footprints in the snow
I bless that happy day when Nellie lost her way
For I found her when the snow was on the ground

I dropped in to see her there was a big round moonimages-1
Her mother said she just stepped out but would be returning soon
I found her little footprints and I traced them in the snow
I found her when the snow was on the ground

Now she’s up in heaven she’s with the angel band
I know I’m going to meet her in that promised land
But every time the snow falls it brings back memories
For I found her when the snow was on the ground

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GEORGE PACKARD AND HIS SCOOP

When we last heard from roving reporter George Packard he was shifting gears in his search for a Breaking News scoop. George was settling for a scoop of ice cream, even for soft-serve!

Which leads us to the Magazine’s final story about ice cream:

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ICE SCREAM! YOU SCREAM!

I make no claim to be a connoiseur of ice-cream. On the other hand, when it images-5comes to ice-cream I am no slouch. Actually, sometimes I do slouch when I eat ice-cream on the sofa….. of an afternoon, watching the ballgame. Usually it’s Breyers for me. It’s “all natural” and a favorite from my childhood in the Bronx. Breyers had real tiny bits of vanilla beans in their vanilla. Back in the golden borough, we would get Breyer’s ice cream cones at the candy store – of which there were many back in the day.

Speaking of the Bronx, we must turn our attention to Haagan Daaz ice cream. Wonderful Haagen-Dazs. It should come as no revelation that this gourmet ice cream is not made in Denmark, rather in the south Bronx. Hail to the Bronx! And hail to Haagen-Dazs! It’s great ice cream. However, for years, I, like everyone else, would see their Little Mermaid and drawing of Denmark on the cover of the carton and believe I was eating (and paying for) imported Danish ice cream. But no. The Mattus family in the Bronx simply thought that Haagen-Dazs was a good name (and gimmick). Say what you like, Haagen-Dazs is top-notch.

One of my current favorites is Foster’s Freeze Ice-Milk soft serve. I always get the chocolate cone. Not dipped! I’m a straight-up guy, and quite principled when it comes to important matters such as ice-cream. Yes, Foster’s, a California tradition since 1946 (but it appears to be a faded franchise and on its way out), still makes a good, plain custard. I remember fondly the custard ice-cream we would get as a special treat when we went out to City Island in the Bronx on those hot summer nights. It was the best.

Back in the old days, if you wanted regular, hard, hand-scooped  ice-cream there was the neighborhood candy store. And then there was Howard Johnson’s – 26 flavors! and its pioneering chain of restaurants and motels nationwide, which is now mostly disappeared. Also in the Bronx we had Carvel, famous for their soft-serve, (Hail hail the Carvel Flying Saucer ice cream sandwich!). Later on they also sold hard ice cream, which was pretty good too. We must here take note that the whole ice cream world was revolutionized by the emergence of the Baskin-Robbins chain, who deserve an honorable mention in any serious discussion of ice cream.

As I said, when it comes to ice cream I am no slouch. On a personal level I continue to learn and to grow. There’s frozen yogurt (I like YogurtLand very much). There’s gelato! So many worlds to explore when it comes to ice cream!images-2
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Monday Magazine ———-September 22, 2014.

Welcome to this Monday’ s Monday Magazine.

This week’s Mag features a Seasonal Update, an AISOTB, a Science Section, an Art Section…..etc etc

SEASONAL UPDATE

Hey, it’s September 22! YIKES! It’s Autumn. Summer is over apparently. (Here in California, though, we’re not so sure this summer will ever end). Rosh Hashana, the Jewish New Year is upon us. Wednesday night! YIKEs again! Time flies. YIKES!

A Happy, Sweet New Year to all!

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AISOTB

Bumbastories would like to remind all readers that all contributions, submissions, and suggestions to the AISOTB section are welcome, and that contributions can reference not only buses, but all forms of mass transportation, i.e., trains, ferries, monorails, bicycles etc.

As I sat on the train I said to myself, “Drat! It’s Monday already and I still haven’t completed the Monday Magazine. This As I Sat on the Train will have to be a quickie.

The subject of this train report is the Los Angeles subway, and, let me tell you, those trains sure are quick!

To paraphrase Herman Melville, “Thar’ she blows!” IMG_0519IMG_0520IMG_0521

And IMG_0525 IMG_0526 IMG_0527“Thar she goes!”

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SCIENCE SECTION

Note from the Editor: If you remember, last week in the Magazine, Bumbastories promised to provide an update on Max Born’s 1962 book, Einstein’s Theory of Relativity. This book review was supposed to be written by our roving reporter and retired science teacher, George Packard. However when this editor handed Packard the assignment, he suggested I do it myself. “It’ll do you a lot of good,” he told me, as he walked out the door of the Bumbastories newsroom. The son of a gun had a smile on his face.

So, this editor has been left holding the bag. The Max Born book is a good one, but somewhat awkward in its presentations of the math, a bit hard to follow, at least for me. I quickly realized I needed to return to the fundamentals. Again! It seems I’m always at the beginning. But how could I ever hope to understand Relativity and Quantum Physics if I didn’t even understand Galileo’s planks and pendulums? (Not to mention Max Planck’s plancks and plenckulums!).

Back to Galileo I went. Back to1638. Galileo insisted we look at nature (to perform careful experiments) to  determine the quantitative relationship between force and motion. Upon close examination, Aristotle’s system was inadequate. Contrary to Aristotle, motion does not require the constant application of a force, said Galileo. Things will keep on moving on their own once impelled by a force. The law of inertia was set forth. As Born insightfully points out, Galileo was able to realize that friction, which retards motion to varying degrees, is a secondary, incidental effect. To quote Planck, “It is just this intuition, which correctly differentiates what is essential in an occurence from disturbing subsidiary efects, that characterizes the great scientist.”

The concept of acceleration, the change in velocity over time, was studied in nature (via experiment, via Galileo’s polished wooden planks and shiny marbles), Acceleration was described algebraically. as a function of time (The planks enabled Galileo to slow down the velocity of falling objects so as to be able to measure the time elapsed as they fell through measured space).

imagesInterestingly, Galileo was quite aware of the boldness of his new experiential or “scientific” approach. At the outset of his 1638 Discourse on The Two New Sciences, he takes pains to point out that predictions made by Aristotle’s and Euclid’s idealized reality – a world of perfectly straight lines with no thickness) – can take us very far, but can be contrary to what we perceive with our senses. A revision of the Aristotilian view was in order. Indeed, ever since Galileo got the ball rolling (down the plank) science has continually altered and refined its models to accomodate new evidence.

Editor’s Note: This editor will be working in the coming weeks on getting a better handle on fundamental physics. It’s a noble quest and a journalistic responsibilty as well. Let those marbles roll down those plancks….er planks!

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ARTS SECTION: NEW NOVEL RELEASED

One Life The buzz in the World of Art is all about the release of Stephen Baum’s second novel One Life or The Lives of Chester Knowles. And then there’s that bit of confusion regarding Baum’s third release, The Phantom Speaks or More in the Lives of Chester Knowles, which was also released last week. Which should we read first?

In an attempt to shed some light on the matter, Bumbastories presents a brief excerpt from our exclusive interview with the author conducted just yesterday at his home in Los Angeles.

INTERVIEWER: Well, Sr. Baum, I’ve looked at The Phantom Speaks and it surely is a cute and entertaining little book. But shouldn’t I read One Life first?

BAUM: The answer is yes. It’s only logical to read the first book, One Life or The Lives of Chester Knowles first and then to read the sequel…..

INTERVIEWER: I’ve noticed that in One Life, an obsession with logic is a characteristic of many of your characters…..

BAUM: Huh? Well, nobody’s perfect. However, I do like for things to make sense. That’s why Bumba is selling the two books together for the price of one. Just check it out on Bumba Books.

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Monday Magazine —— September 15, 2014

This week’s Monday Magazine features a brief News update, a Special Report from the Beach from roving reporter George Packard, an Arts Report, and a sing-a-long song,

News Summary and Anaysis from the Bumbastories Team of Political Pundits, Puny Punsters, and Procrastinating Prognosticators

The “situations” in the Middle East remain unresolved. Achh! Achh again! The only discernible trend is that it just gets worse. “Worser and worser,” says one of our keen international pundits (who refuses to be identified for fear his seventh grade grammar teacher might come after him).

As every media story seems to be focused nowadays on President Obama’s incompetence, Bumbastories finds it interesting that no one is giving him credit for his foreign policy successes. For several years, Obama has been criticized for not being assertive enough in Syria and in Iraq. Well, give the guy credit. Imagine if he had armed the Syrian opposition early on! Imagine if American combat troops were back in Iraq! Obama was prudent, nay perspicacious. Or perhaps he just checked out the U.S. track record for Middle East military interventions. In any case, Kerry is trying to get the Arabian sheiks and moneybags to come to a behind-the-scenes accord, which is quite proper and admirable, but also kinda funny.

As for a full Bumbastories Weather break-down, it’s still real hot in L.A. Hottest year in history.

Report from George Packard, Roving Reporter

George Packard, hard-working reporter and ever-roving, made it to the beach again. On the look-out for Breaking News Stories, George found only breaking waves, and as for a news scoop, that’s right, he could only find a IMG_0350couple of plastic shovels (sorry ’bout that). Still, George Packard had a lovely time. In fact George had a lovely time any and every time he went to the beach.

“Nothing beats the beach,” said George. IMG_0389

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Arts Review
Bumbastories is proud to announce the release of Stephen Baum’s second and third novels.
In case you are not aware, Stephen Baum is the guy behind Bumba and George Packard and the rest of us, the guy pulling the strings – and I suspect he is pulling our legs too. Watch out he doesn’t pull yours. In any case, Baum has written three novels, which we at Bumbastories recommend. We have read all of Baum’s books and like them very much. But as we have already mentioned, we are not very objective since Baum is pulling our strings.

Links to purchase both of these books One Life of The Lives of Chester Knowles and The Phantom Speaks, as well as Baum’s first novel Up In The Bronx are found on the new Bumba Books Page. For more information about these books, reviews, and side stories, check out One Life and the The Phantom Speaks categories.

And now, The Bumbastories Sing Along. We suspect that many of you are not singing along. I believe that Bumbastories has made it abundantly clear to the public that singing along, playing along, tapping your feet along with these songs is very highly encouraged. This song, Let It Be, is rated 97 out of a possible 100 on the ‘you have to sing along with this one’ scale. So, no excuses. Join in.

When I find myself in times of trouble…….

Monday Magazine Section —– August 18, 2014

Welcome to the Bumbastories Monday Magazine

We regret to announce that this week’s magazine contains nothing particularly significant. But since our aim is simply to entertain, maybe it’s OK that the magazine sits on the weak end of the significance spectrum. How significant is significance, anyway? Last we heard, the jury is still out on the significance question. However the jury is in and the verdict delivered on the subject of “Meaning”. Please see the Funny Pages entry on “The Meaning of Life”. Also see song at end of the magazine, a song Bumba wrote a long time ago which is clearly not very meaningful, but is quite sweet nonetheless.

That being said, George Packard, our roving reporter, is still out there: doggedly determined and decidedly dead-earnest not only about alliteration but also about journalistic significance. George wants to lasso some “breaking news”, a scoop. Ya gotta admit, social significance is nice in a magazine. But, as we were saying, this week’s Monday magazine is a bit low on significance. And meaning too.

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The Meaning of Life

The Meaning of Life

The Buddha was asked by one of his disciples about the meaning of life.

By way of response, the Buddha held up a flower.

“Do you mean to say,” exclaimed Rami Medran “that the meaning of life is a flower? Just a little flower?”

“The meaning of life is anything you chose,” responded the Buddha slowly, “If you like, the meaning of life is my fat ass.”

“Oh no, oh no,” gasped Suri Ba’an, “That cannot be.”

“OK,” drawled the Buddha, “the meaning of life is your fat ass. Or, if you like, a tiny flea that is crawling around your fat tooches, searching, poor thing, for his meaning of life.”

“Aah! The Buddha means to say that the meaning of life lies within the examination of life itself. The noble quest, the struggle of the mind to make sense of the maya of existence!’ countered Suri Ba’an.

“OK,” said the Buddha. “Let me put it this way. The real meaning of life is the line at the 7-Eleven convenience store.”

“What is this, sire? This 7-Eleven?” they asked.

“It’s a combination of two prime numbers together with too high prices. Don’t you get it, dudes? I’m only kidding.”

“Aaaaaaahhh,” they all sighed.

“Right. I was only kidding. The ultimate in meaning, the bottom line on the meaning thing is Jack Nicholson.”

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All right, here’s some quick social commentary:

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“Hey! How come eveybody is always so busy with their phone? I don’t get it.”

Question: Is that it? Is that the extent of Bumbastories’ social commentary and insight into the plight of modern civilization?

Answer: Well, it’s a start, isn’t it?

Question: How about the relationship between the military-industrial-media complex and the widening stratification and disparities between the social classes?

Answer: Yeah, that too.

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And now for a sweet song, Desert Wind….

Wishing everyone a pleasant week.

Monday Magazine ——–August 11, 2014.

image Welcome to this week’s Bumbastories Monday Magazine Section

Featured this week on the magazine are a new Funny Pages section, the old familiar AISOTB essay, a book review, a special Music Review, and a suggestion box for amendments to United States Constitution.

 

Now for some Funny Pages!images-2 DSCN0365
Digging deep into the Bumbastories archives ……..

Inspirational Fruits and Vegetables

A picture tells a thousand words…. And that’s probably a couple of hundred more words than anyone wanted to hear in the first place… All the same, the wisdom of fresh produce remains a source of inspiration (and roughage) for the poet and green grocer alike! Here are two inspirational and (thankfully) very brief poems:

I know a fruit and I ain’t tellin’

But there’s no hiding a

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

I don’t care what food you eat

There’s one vegetable that can’t be

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

 

 

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Chuckle, chuckle. Mon Dieu. That was presque tres drole. Bumba’s humor can’t be beat!

 

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and now an AISOTB:

From the Back of the Bus

 

As I sat at the back of the nearly-empty bus, the fact imagethat I was going home continued to wash over me in waves. In my head I heard The Band singing

“Oh, to be home again.

With my very best friend.

They call him Rag-Time Willie”.

Oh to be home again. I was really going to be back in my house, back in those familiar rooms. I leaned forward and grasped the handrail of the empty seat in front of me. My parents, older for sure, would be there to greet me at the door. Yes. At long last I was headed home.

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This week’s featured book is Joseph Campbells’s The Mythic ImageIMG_0180

This magnificent coffee table book is a fine introduction to Campbell’s work and to his fascinating field of study: Comparative Mythology. The combination of Campbell’s incisive discourse together with beautifully formatted illustrations and high quality reproductions is a special treat. As Campbell himself states in the Preface to the 1974 hardcover edition:

“My thanks for the extraordinary beauty of this volume, giving satisfaction to my wish that the reader should take delight in its art, are to Miss M. J Abadie, whose own art, skill, and loyal devotion through many trials and difficulties made possible a book in which the verbal and pictoral strains can be experienced simultneously, in accord.”

This book is so rich it could take me years to finish. I will not even try to review it. Only to recommend it. And to recommend Mr. Campbell to anyone interested in serious reading and stimulating thought and meditation.

My thanks to Ste J. who lit a fire under my you-know-what and got me interested in ol’ Joe Campbell again.

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Music Review

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Paul sings Let It Be and Dodger Stadium lights up (on their cell phones).

Lucky for me that our editor Bumba was busy editing and that George Packard, our roving reporter, was out roving someplace. Because it was I, Stephen Baum, who drew the choice assignment of covering the Paul McCartney concert at Dodger Stadium. I’d never seen Sir Paul perform before so…WOW. The view at Dodger Stadium did not lend to intimacy. Ticket prices were exhorbitant, even for the nose-bleed seats, but no complaints from this reporter. The 70 years young Paul and his band were in top form, playing McCartney hits for three hours straight. What with the pyrotechnics on the Live and Let Die number and the fireworks at the final curtain, it was a great show. Truly, the amazing Paul McCartney is a treasure.

 

 

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And finally, a suggestion box for the Americans in the audience. And for the non-Americans/illegals/wetbacks/internationalists and other lost souls/bloggers out there. Instead of taking to arms (which nobody is going to do I don’t think) let’s put on our thinking caps and draft a couple of amendments to the U.S Constitution. Send ’em in via the comments section and then we’ll see about drafting a petition, and then…Well, maybe a couple more drafts.images-7

 

 

 

 

 

Monday Magazine Section ====August 3, 2014.

A Note from the Editor

On behalf of all the members of the Bumbastories staff, I would like to offer some explanation as to why this Bumbastories Sunday Magazine Section has had its name changed to Monday Magazine Section. As you may or may not be aware, this Bumbastories blog is titled Every Day Another Story. For a brief while we at Bumbastories believed ourselves capable of answering the daily writing challenge: every day another story. Quite rapidly, though, Every Day Another Story devolved into a de facto “story maybe every couple of days” kind of thing.

Then we arrived at the weekly Sunday Magazine format!

And we’re even late on that!

So, with an admission of our incorrigible sloth, and with a touch of realistic goal-setting, Bumbastories has pushed back the deadline yet another day and will now publish the Monday Magazine Section.

 

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George Packard, retired schoolteacher and roving reporter for Bumbastories was back out there – roving the streets of Los Angeles on his bicycle. Looking for a scoop.

Exciting stuff, no?

George thought so too.

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George Packard, roving reporter, roved on….

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How ’bout a song to move us along today? Click to hear Bumba playing Up a Lazy River or the umpteenth time. Bumba says he can’t help it. He uses the song to practice his chords.

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And now for the thrilling continuation of the Ted Morris, Los Angeles Private Eye of the Raymoond Chandler ilk story.

 

Ted Morris picked up Angelina Despaigne from the Adelanto Federal Prison out past Victorville the day after Robert Kennedy got shot. It was a sad, sad time. For every one. Even the prison guards seemed to be in shell-shock.

Angelina Marquez walked quickly out of the big prison door and got into the car. She had tears in her eyes. Stiffly she sat next to Ted Morris in the car. She held her duffel bag on her lap.

“Drive, baby,” she spoke, looking straight out at the road ahead. She watched coldly as they passed through the prison gates, which were slowly opened for them after a quick inspection of Morris’ visitor’s pass and Angelina’s release papers.

Ted Morris, tough and hardened Los Angeles private eye, found himself crying too as he eased the low-riding black Chevy Impala onto Rte 395 and headed toward L.A. It was the emotion of Angelina’s release together with all the accumulated sorrow and held-back tears of the Kennedy assassination. The last chance had been shot down. It was the final nail in the national coffin. It was too hard a blow. As he drove he reached with his free hand down into his trousers’ pocket to get his handkerchief. He felt Angelina’s hand clutch his. He patted and then grasped her thin fingers with his big paw, as he carefully steadied the big Chevy on the road. Rte 395, long and straight and dusty lay ahead of them.

“At least you’re coming home,” he said, drying his eyes. “We’re all glad about that.”

“You’ll see'” he continued. “Francisco’s fixed you a party.”

“Ted Morris,” she began. “How do I thank you? Ever?”

“Hey, Angie, you know we made a deal.” He turned to look at her briefly. She was smiling as a tear ran down her cheek.

 

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A Happy Monday and a Happy Week to All!